It runs in the family

When I was pretty young, I'd guess before I ever started school, I had a daycare accident.  While running around playing I fell into a marble table.  I had lots of tears, lots of blood, and a butterfly patch later I have a dimple in my left cheek.  Until I tell people it is really a scar, they all think it is a natural dimple (although placed a bit oddly).

Big Daddy had a scar from a childhood collision as well.  Honestly, even after 10 years I forget he has it until he mentions it or points it out.

So it is only appropriate that M ran into a wall today and busted open his head.  They didn't do stitches, just glued him back together (I will hold judgement on this one till we see how it heals, but Superglue-well technically the medical version-isn't exactly what I expected as our treatment method).

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's SuperMom

I was reading a message board today and came across a thread about balancing home responsibilities and raising a toddler.  The original poster was stressed because she was feeling overwhelmed with trying to keep up with her chores, care for her toddler and work full time.

I can totally relate.  My house is always a mess.  Even when Big Daddy and I swear that this time, we are going to keep it clean.  My laundry is a never ending pile.  Our master bath is a disaster.  My car is a mobile dumpster of soda bottles.  I am a mess.

But when I get home I want to regroup.  I want to spend time with my husband, and my son.  I want to take a few minutes to blog about our life.  I just want to focus on LIFE.

So, how can I fit in the responsibility?  I've tried to do lists, but find them overwhelming.  I've tried making a schedule, but my job doesn't have a predictable schedule so I can't keep to it.  I can't afford to hire someone so what's a girl to do?

The moms I know who have the perfectly clean house don't ever sit down and relax at night, or on the weekends, or ever.  I don't have that drive to clean that makes it worth it to me to give up time with my loved ones.

As I read this I ask, am I just being a spoiled child?  Maybe.  Probably.  But I know I'll never regret that extra snuggle with M, that extra time with Big Daddy.

So I can't claim my cape or superpowers yet.  But maybe someday I'll get it figured out.

Say Goodbye to your little friend...

Sleep was an issue from our early days with M.  He woke up every 2-3 hours to eat till he was about 3 months.  After that we went to waking up about 2 times each night.  That lasted till after he was 6 months.  Then we went to 1 wake up.  That lasted till he was a year.  I quit telling people pretty early on because they always looked at me like I was insane.  I had a 10 month old who didn't sleep through the night???  I was I even still alive???  But it was okay for us, I'd feed him and he'd be back down and I barely woke up myself.  So once he turned a year (and was in between ear infections and teething) we decided it was time to work on sleeping through the night.  I was nervous.  We started before a weekend anticipating a really rough transition.  That first night he woke up twice.  We let him cry for 10 minutes, went in and calmed him, and put him back down and he went back to sleep.  That was it, that one night.  It was so easy, so painless (and totally made us regret not doing it sooner).

So why is getting rid of the paci seem to be so much harder??

I was one of those annoying pregnant women who was so sure of myself and all those things I'd NEVER do as a parent.  You know, like never resort to the swing to get him to sleep, wipe his nose with my bare hands, let him eat processed anything, and let my breastfed baby use a paci.

After 2 days of labor, 2 hours of pushing and a c-section my poor little guy had a pretty goofy head.  I told the nurses to give him a paci to help comfort him as they watched him in the nursery overnight trying to fix his "boggy" head (oh yeah, another thing I wasn't going to do...use the nursery at the hospital).  He hasn't seemed to be too much of an addict.  He only used it at nap and bedtime.  But we were starting to notice that he would seek it out.  He'd want to keep it in longer and longer.  So I decided this was the week.

Day 1
Nap:  An hour late so I was carrying a sleeping baby from the car to crib.  No paci, no crying.  Success.
Bedtime:  Complete meltdown.  I had to dance and sing to calm him down enough to even rock.  About 10 minutes of hard crying.  Heard him up and active for about 20-30 minutes.  Finally asleep, no paci

Day 2
Nap:  Nap on time and very upset to have no paci.  Left him with books and his blanket.  He fussed for a  few minutes then out.
Bedtime:  Very upset for about 5 minutes.  Calmed with rocking, cried for about 5-10 minutes then asleep.

Day 3
Nap:  At daycare.  Big Daddy was supposed to tell them to not use a paci, not sure if they complied.
Bedtime:  Read Goodnight Moon 5 times.  Got no snuggles.  Cried for less than 5 minutes and then asleep.

After reading this I wonder why I'm so annoyed by this process.  He's done pretty well and it's only been 3 days.  But our bedtime routine has always been so easy.  We would cuddle for several minutes, I'd get hugs.  He'd go down awake and we wouldn't hear from him till morning.  I don't like this stressful bedtime with an unhappy baby.

I'm sure we're almost through it.  I hope we're almost through it.  I miss the snuggles with M.  When he's awake he never stops moving, so those moments of calm are precious to me.

Blue Steel

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Cool and Collected

As I have mentioned before, work has been a bit stressful lately.  Many changes are on the horizon and if it were just the changes I'd be very excited.  They are changes that make this a store that I can really get behind.  The problem is that the higher ups have absolutely no interest in treating their employees with any sensitivity or respect.  They have listed all of our jobs online, and the applicants are coming in to submit applications in our store, and come to open houses to learn about OUR jobs.

My District Manager always tells me that I'm so cool and collected when everything is spinning out of control in the store.  Let me tell you it is really hard to remain that way when I have employees asking what is going on, why is my job listed online?  I don't know, maybe this is a sign that it is time for me to move on.  But where?  I've been there for almost 10 years and I can't really imagine what else to do.  Not that I don't have the training with my master's degree collecting dust on a shelf, but I don't have the experience and my previous attempts to get out of retail have been met with nothing but rejection.  I've lost my confidence.

So today I have to go back to work and put on that smile, and accept those applications, and try to remain cool and collected.